He Said, She Said
by blueraspberrymilkshake
Summary: Stan Marsh thought his life couldn't get anymore hectic. He was proven wrong when Kyle and Cartman started dating. A typical teen romance involving high school, gossip, partying, drama, and pop culture references; all told in Stan's point of view. Kyman and a few minor pairings. Rated T.


A/N: Okay so I have a few things to say about this story.

1.) This is my longest fic so far.

2.) This fic was loosely based off another fic, 'Bella Notte' by mddnapstablook (also known as justkymanthings on Tumblr)!

3.) I've started on this for over a year now, but I had severe writer's block...oops…

4.) This could've been a oneshot, but I was having too many amazing ideas while I was writing, so this story is going to be a two-parter!

5.) I also dedicate this story to shortstackedcheesecake/96 (also known as shortstackedkyman on Tumblr)! We don't really talk to each other often, but she's literally the most amazing Kyman author by far, and she's one of the many people who inspired me to become a better writer myself. She never fails to present amazing content for us and I am just in love with her writing style. So yeah, she deserves a damn good fanfic. So Shawty, my (extremely late) birthday present for you is my latest story! As for everyone else, have fun reading! Reviews and constructive criticism are always welcome! Enjoy!

* * *

"Oh, Goddamnit," Stan growled, before throwing his video game player on the ground with a plethora of used cans of Dr. Pepper and the bottles of the Jameson Irish Whiskey that were once hidden deep inside his closet.

His eyebrows were already knit together when he continued to stare at his television screen; a rather condescending tune was playing as the words 'Game Over' flashed in bold, green letters. It didn't help that it was too dark in his living room either; the television screen illuminating the messy furniture, while the light exposed Stan's 'pajamas' - consisting of only his ancient, worn out _ Terrance and Phillip _ t-shirt and red-plaid shorts - and fair, slightly tanned skin. That was Stan's fifteenth game on this particular Saturday night (or was it eighteenth? Maybe twenty-second...), and when he took his phone from his right side of the couch, he was dismayed when it hasn't been midnight yet.

"Jesus, it's only 11:22," he then sighed and slumped against the couch, hardly realizing the dusty particles that had escaped the old red cushions. He couldn't remember exactly when his parents left home, but he knew that they had been gone for far too long, because when he was fully up this afternoon he didn't hear Randy's rambling; which would be the first thing he would hear during a brand new, mediocre-at-best day. Stan was actually glad to have some alone time at this day and age - especially since Shelly moved out of state, and he had never felt so relieved in a long time. Stan was fine with this; the silence and the dark cradling him. Yeah. This was a good night… right?

Stan decided to distract himself and continued to stare at the television screen, and not really stare at the visuals, but rather stare into the void. In the past sixteen years, since he first stepped foot on Earth, if there was one thing that made his entire childhood, it was television. His mind then drifted off to the time when he was in preschool, sitting in front of the family television for the first time. His high-pitched giggles and small claps would be heard each time the _ Teletubbies _ did a new dance. He would then discover the multicolored phosphors - each group consisted of red, blue, and green - scattering the entire glass like a kaleidoscope. When he got closer he would point out his finger, only to withdraw entirely once he felt static. He also remembered Sharon yelling at him and yanking him away by the arm, asking him how many times she had to repeat herself for his safety. And just like every young child, little Stanley had a rather simple, yet complex imagination; he decided that the static was a portal, which could lead him to a colorful world of smiles and dancing and recreation, instead of settling in a world where parents scream at each other and older sisters torment their brothers every chance they get.

Alas, his childhood innocence has quickly succumbed to complaisant ignorance. On the upside, however, he wasn't the only one with an absurd experience. His other childhood factor would be his misadventures with three boys. Kyle Broflovski was one of them, and he was the only one who Stan considered an actual friend. As for Eric Cartman and Kenny McCormick, not so much. While the dark-haired boy liked the latter, he wasn't as outstandish as Kyle was. Not to mention the countless times he had vanished, like he was dead, or something. And don't even get him started on Fatass. Yes, he was incredibly street smart and even managed to pull off some absurd schemes on several occasions, but take that all away and he was the bigoted, misogynistic, narcissistic sonuvabitch everyone hated. And Stan still couldn't believe the fat bastard was in an actual romantic relationship.

Stan groaned and got up to his feet, deciding that he was done for the night. He went back to the living room with a plastic trash bag and began picking up the empty cans and bottles. As he picked up the last beer bottle, his mind reminisced the first time he truly felt like… well, shit. He lost interest with everything he touched, his parents were even divorced for a while, and everyone, even Kyle, didn't want anything to do with him anymore. It also felt like the first time he lost Kyle as his best friend. Since then Stan decided to have his first beer; to numb away the all of the pain and regret from every inch of his body. And while he and Kyle were friends again (and everything else went back to normal), he became doubtful, indecisive even. It was always the same thing,and it reminds him of his unbearable parents. The two have fought and argued and swore at each other before all this, Hell, even cut off their friendship at one point. But they were dumb kids, and because they were dumb kids they were in a cycle where each episodic situation would be fixed by a lesson from the both of them and they start over. They would put everything behind them, and the state of affairs were to be sealed and kept away like a letter in a file cabinet.

Unfortunately, things had seemed to change for the worst. Former Principal Victoria was let go from her long-term job at South Park Elementary, and was replaced by PC Principal and his anomalous daughter Leslie Meyers. Kyle was always on his high horse, to the point where he accused Stan for acting like Cartman. The other boy was offended. Sure, he could be an asshole, but he wasn't a sociopath, and he sure as hell wasn't _ fat _. Since then, Stan grew tired of Kyle's arrogance, being the cocky, prideful twat he was. Neither of them apologized and Stan felt that his regression with Kyle was for real. He was tired of continuing this emotionally-draining limbo, and it was obvious Kyle felt the same way. It wasn't until the day Kyle and Stan decided to fuck off completely, they didn't need each other anymore. By the time they were in middle school, Stan and Kyle had an on-again/off-again friendship. They stopped calling each other, stopped hanging out together, and they hardly talked to each other; they didn't do anything together unless Kyle wanted to. Kyle wouldn't want Stan in his life unless it somehow benefits him and only him. But when Stan needed his help, it was a fucking problem. Kyle thought he would be the king forever, but he let his own kingdom fall apart, even when his knight in shining armor had abandoned his duty.

_ 'So much for not needing me,' _ Stan thought. _ 'Well, I certainly don't need him anymore.' _

Stan was finally finished cleaning up and headed back to his room. He continued to tell himself that things were better without Kyle.

_ 'He was hardly there for me anyway! Why should I miss an arrogant asshole like him? I don't need anyone. I'm way better off by myself… Am I?' _

Stan's cheek was already resting on his pillow. Unfortunately, the aforementioned thought had  
robbed him from sleep. Instead, he laid down on his back and stared at the ceiling. The darkness decided to be harsh tonight, and crept inside the helpless boy's skin in the most ill-fitting way. "_Shit_," he spat out, before turning to his side. It took him a long, long while before he would finally shut his eyes.

* * *

Stan would've never figured out what Kyle was up to these days if it weren't for his classmates. It wasn't hard, though; all he did was kept quiet and heard what the other guys had to say.

Kyle had recently dumped David Rodriguez.

"Oh, yeah," Token remembered. "Clyde just told me about it earlier today."

"Clyde?" Scott turned to the brunette, "Dude, how did you know?"

"Uh, David told me himself," said Clyde, tugging his hands inside his varsity jacket. "What did you think would happen?"

"Man, they were so cute together, too..." added Tweek. "Well, not as cute as us. Right, Craig?" the blond grabbed his boyfriend's hand, lacing their digits together.

"I honestly don't care about any of this," Craig retorted in a deadpan tone. "Hey Jimmy. Are you gonna eat your last chicken nugget?"

Stan continued to listen to the boys' conversation, as he used his plastic fork to nonchalantly pick on the slightly-burnt mac n' cheese on his lunch tray. He had always sit with the boys at lunchtime - most of whom are part of the football team like himself - but he felt that no one would care what he had to say anyway. And besides, neither one of them seemed to notice he was there. So he would stay silent, eat his overcooked meal, leave the table as soon as he was done, and go out for a smoke. But today was an exception. Because this was about Kyle. He already knew that Kyle and David were going out, but he was the last to know. Hell, he hadn't heard from either of them until four weeks after they got together. He overheard the rumor from Red and Bebe at the school hallway back in May; apparently Wendy told Bebe that she saw Kyle's head on David's shoulder while she was at the latter's restaurant with Heidi. Damn, that was a mouthful. So Kyle had his first boyfriend in years and didn't bother to tell his closest (on/off) friend.

_ 'Why am I getting so anxious about all of this?' _ Stan thought _ . 'Then again, Kyle was always a hopeless romantic, he must be devastated. Wait… am I actually sad and pissed off for him? And I have to be there for him? Even though I shouldn't talk to him anymore? Jesus Christ, I hate having emotions.' _

Stan then cleared his throat and finally spoke up, "So, uh… where is Kyle, anyway?"

The whole table stopped and looked at the lone teenager.

"Sorry, Stan. We didn't see you sitting here," Butters simply responded.

Token gave the oblivious blond a vexed stare before turning back to Stan to answer his question. "He's skipped lunch to catch up with Mrs. Williams. I don't blame him, though. It's like her assignments are getting harder and harder by the day."

No one at the lunch table really liked Mrs. Williams, and Token was right about her. They had a summer reading assignment due on the first day of school and were expected to have their textbooks in order to finish their first lecture; fast forward to the near end of September, and they'd already covered three novellas, four short essays, and one and a half novels. She didn't play around when it comes to literature.

Stan thanked Token and carried on with his meal. It looked like he had plans after school.

* * *

"Hey, Kyle."

The redhead gasped and jumped a bit, turning from his beige locker to face the raven-haired  
male. "Oh. Hi," his voice in an indifferent tone. He took out his red backpack and stopped, seemingly noticing something. He turned back to Stan. "Didn't you wear that same football jersey yesterday?"

"Huh?" Stan looked down for a second to stare at his shirt. Yep, it was the exact same one. "Oh, yeah. I'm a bit surprised you noticed."

He forced out a chuckle, but Kyle just stared at him with a puzzled look. He stopped, and there was an awkward silence while the swarm of teenagers continued to roam the halls. "So…" Stan tried again, "uh, I've heard about what happened between you and David."

Kyle made a small, agonizing sound at that statement. Probably not the best way to start a conversation. "Goddamnit. I knew David couldn't keep his mouth shut."

"Uh, actually, I got that from Clyde," Stan corrected him.

That familiar name brought realization to Kyle, and he groaned. "He must've overheard us in the bathroom." He pulled out his AP Physics textbook, placing it inside his backpack. "I just remembered that he was heading to Mrs. Anderson's class as soon as I left."

Stan thought this was weird. The redhead didn't seem so happy that his friend was here when needed, considering the fact that he no longer had a cute Mexican dude for a boyfriend. But now he was saying this unnecessary info about how the news was spread. Then again, everyone would find out anyways.

The dark-haired boy just shook it off and bluntly asked, "Wanna watch a movie at my place tonight? It'll make you feel better."

Kyle stopped again and let out a loud huff. "I don't need your pity, dude."

"...What?"

"I'm fine, Stan. I'm not some weak pansy who wants to be coddled every time something kicks him in the ass. Whatever happened, happened. I can get through this."

_ 'Good God. Is he serious right now?' _ Irritated, Stan replied back, "You don't have to be all pissy, you know."

"Maybe you should do the same."

Stan would make a snarky comment about how the other boy was sounding like his own mom, but he wasn't here for another pointless argument.

"Look. I'm trying to be nice here, dude. You're the one who wanted to keep stuff from me. I stayed in my lane, just like you wanted. I just want us to do one thing together. Just us. You and me."

Stan didn't notice this, but his voice was a bit raspy and he sounded so desperate when he said those words. He must've waited way too long to say what he wanted to say, let alone to the shorter guy in front of him at this moment.

And Kyle must've read his mind, because his empathy was written all over his face. "God. I'm sorry, Stan. It's just that, everything's been so stressful lately. Junior year has just started, and my parents are already on my ass for not choosing a college yet, I'm already studying for the SATs, while juggling my extracurriculars, and… and my social life's been out of control. Maybe I just need something to take my mind off this crap."

Funny how Kyle mentioned his social life when Stan was barely part of it anymore.

_ 'What happened to us?' _

Maybe this was a bad idea.

Stan looked away, rubbing his neck. "Well, we can always do this some other time then. I'll see you la-"

"Wait." The redhead finally closed his locker before putting on his backpack.

"What time do you want me to be there?"

* * *

Stan felt tonight might be a better night. So much so that he actually bothered to make sure his living room was spotless. He even took a shower as soon as he got home, and he would usually wash himself every other day. And he couldn't forget to wear something new and casual. He picked the perfect time too; Randy and Sharon decided to have one of their date nights (which almost always ended up terrible), and probably won't come back until two in the morning like last time. Tonight, he and Kyle would spend time together, just the two of them.

The raven-haired teen couldn't fathom the last time he and Kyle hung out by themselves; they were always in groups, and even then they ended up interacting with somebody else. He wasn't expecting a spectacular play-date, but he guessed it was better than nothing. He knew Kyle didn't scorn him completely, and a hint of his respect was still there. Though it may seem far-fetched, Stan had never given up unconditionally. He wanted to be hopeful. It was like holding onto a teddy bear; so soft, warm, and fuzzy, and even with age, it continues to be that way and you never ever want to let go. Stan would love to feel like that again. He just needed to hold on tighter.

The doorbell rang. Finally, he was here.

Stan quickly headed towards the front door and swung it open. He really should've looked out the window, because with Kyle came an unwanted guest.

"'Sup, Stan?" It was the Fatass himself, but this time he was wearing a formal maroon vest and a pair of brown dress pants. Plus, he showed off his well-combed, lavender-scented brunette locks; as if he were at some fancy, posh party instead of an old friend's house.

"Damn it. Cartman, go away. I only invited Kyle for tonight," Stan then pointed his hand towards the outside world, hoping Cartman would go somewhere else.

"Actually," Kyle interjected, "I kinda invited him myself, dude."

The black-haired boy stared at him in disbelief. "Kyle? What the hell?"

"His mom is out for tonight. And he complained that the rest of the guys are too busy with homework to play online games with him."

Since when did Kyle care what Cartman was doing?

"Yeah, Stan," Cartman chimed in, wrapping one of his arms around Kyle's shoulder. "Don't be so mean."

Stan rolled his eyes and gave up, "Fine. But don't start shit." And with that, all three of them were inside the Marsh household.

Once they were in, Kyle's eyes wandered around the living room, feeling all sorts of nostalgia despite being in the adolescent stage.

"Jesus, how long has it been since we've hung in here, dude?" he asked. He picked up a small picture frame of a younger, happier Stan in a family photo.

Stan turned to the smaller teen and flashed a small smile, "Since forever. Let's just put it at that."

Cartman was the first to slump onto the couch and grab the popcorn. "So what movie are we  
watching?"

"Uhhh…" Stan looked back at the pile of DVDs lying on the table. "I haven't really decided yet. I honestly don't care what you guys pick tonight."

Kyle stepped closer to the table and got on his knees, observing the movie covers with his own hands. Most of them were in perfect condition, so no one must've bothered watching any of them. And when the boys went through each cover, they could understand why.

_ The Fault in Our Stars, The Art of Getting By, Before I Fall, Paper Towns, Happy Go Lucky, Pearl Harbor, Daredevil _ (Ben Affleck Era), _ Fantastic Four _ (Chris Evans Era), _ Green Lantern _ (Ryan Reynolds Era), _ Batman vs Superman, Suicide Squad, Jersey Girl, Gigli, He's Just Not That into You, The Third Wheel_, and so on and so forth.

"Christ, Stan," Cartman sighed, slamming one of the movies back on the table. "Don't you have anything worth sitting through?"

"I don't watch a lot of movies anymore," Stan admitted. "And besides. Most of these were Shelly's."

Kyle sighed and picked up the last DVD. "Then I guess we're watching the _ Justice League _ then."

"Seriously?" interrupted the bigger boy. "That movie sucked so much ass."

"Would you rather watch the new _ Power Rangers _ reboot?" retorted Kyle, picking up the practically new DVD for the brunette to see. Stan was perplexed by Kyle's exasperated tone.

Cartman was affronted by his counsel. "Hell no. That movie's even worse! At least in the _ Justice League _, the team were already kicking ass in their iconic suits in the first half!"

"Oh, c'mon, guys," Stan complained. "The _ Power Rangers _ was an origin story, so of course the team wouldn't be in their suits until the final act. And besides, the teenagers had much more chemistry and character development than the _ Justice League _ will ever have."

"You have pretty shitty taste in cinema, Stan," the brunette scoffed. "The reboot is an example of how to ruin a beloved kids' show by making it 'dark and edgy'. Then again, you've always been a wet blanket…"

Stan tightened his lips together, doing his damnedest to keep his cool. '_ Well, you can always go home, dumbass.' _

"I think Cartman has a point there," suggested Kyle. "The reboot was mediocre at best."

Cartman sniggered. "Told you, Stanny Boy. It seems like the older you get, the more boring and miserable you've become," he said half-jokingly, eating a piece of popcorn from his palm.

"You know, I didn't ask you to come here," the older teen snapped.

Cartman was taken aback, but continued, "Someone's a bit cranky."

"Cranky enough to kick your ass out."

The brunette looked agitated, raising his free hand up like a stop sign, "Woah, calm down. I was just playing around."

"Well I'm not in the mood. I had a very bad week and you're really giving me a headache."

"Oh, _ please_. It's not my fault you give everyone sad vibes."

"Alright, shut up. Both of you," Kyle stood up, interrupting the boys' banter. "We came here to kill some time and that's what we're going to do. Let's just watch the _ Justice League _ and make fun of it."

Stan stared at Cartman before turning back to Kyle and sighed. "Let's get this over with."

When the trio reached the twenty-second mark of the movie, Stan was already bored out of his fucking mind. And no, not because the movie was obviously bad, he knew that; but he still felt the same as he was three nights ago. Annoyed, tired, and just… so restive. The older teen somehow managed to hear the commentary between the two other boys, which continued on throughout the entire movie.

"Looking at Superman's face is just… too painful to watch," said Kyle, cringing at the screen.

"'The Golden Lasso compels you to tell the truth', like we already know that. You don't have to remind the audience a hundred times. Jesus," Cartman droned.

"Is it me or is Bruce Wayne more of a dick in this movie?"

"God, the special effects look soooo bad. Especially on poor Victor here. For crying out loud, he looks like he belongs in a different movie."

"I mean honestly. He's basically a walking talking CGI machine."

"This is why I can't take these movies seriously. Like it's great Superman's back and all, but doesn't that take away the impact from the last film? And the way Flash is running here is so weird."

"This entire scene is basically a huge 'what the fuck' moment."

"I would've liked Batman much more if he wasn't played by Ben fucking Affleck. _ Ugh_."

"Fair enough. But you gotta admit. Barry Allen's characterization was better compared to the others. He's probably the only character I cared about in the entire movie."

"You only like him because the actor himself is a gay Jew like you are, Kyle."

"Okay, so? And you only like Bruce because you're attached to his douchebaggery."

"He's not a douchebag. He stands out from every other goody-two-shoes superhero like Superman here. He always puts himself first, he never hesitates beating the bad guys to a bloody pulp, and when he wants something, he gets it. Did I mention he's filthy rich? And has a butler who doesn't refuse direct orders? I mean come on, Kyle. Remember the Coon? This magnificent sonuvabitch was the guy I based my character off of! I swear, this guy should just stick to having his own franchise."

"Well, I'll be damned. Someone must've based Bruce's character off of yours."

"Anyway, that Barry dude has such an annoying, nasally voice. Not to mention a weird-looking face. Hmm. I wonder who he reminds me of…"

"Shut the fuck up, Batfleck. Speaking of whom, wasn't he the one who made love to your precious 'Miss Lopez?'"

"_Fuck, Kyle! _ Why do you have to bring that up?! Stop laughing! It's not funny!"

"No wonder you hate him so much!"

"Oh, look. Lois Lane has become a plot device… again. Of course Clark would turn back to normal the second he laid his eyes on her. Talk about hasty."

"I thought that she was Barbara for a second…"

"Are you serious?"

"I mean, just look at her!"

"Oh, my God. Kyle."

"You know what both of them looked like in past incarnations. I mean, who's gonna see some random redheaded woman and think 'Oh, that must be Lois Lane?'"

"Barbara Gordon would not look this mature, Kyle. Even those who aren't into DC know that."

"Yeah right. You haven't kept up with their recent crap, either."

"At least I know she's Lois Lane from the get go."

"C'mon, they should've casted someone with dark hair."

"Whatever you say, man."

"...Anyway. This part was incredibly anti-climatic. What was the point of him turning against the others like that? I guess kryptonite isn't his only weakness…"

"This entire movie is my kryptonite."

"And so are you, dude."

"Why, Kyle. Are you suggesting that my charisma makes you weak in the knees?"

"Don't push it."

The final battle was about to begin and the brunette noticed the popcorn was all gone. He placed the empty blue bowl in front of the other teen's face.

"Yo, Stan. Get us some more popcorn, will ya?"

Stan groaned and snatched the bowl from him before getting on his feet.

"You guys need anything else?" he asked before he could make his way to the kitchen.

"A Mountain Dew would be nice," replied Kyle, his eyes glued to the screen. Stan then noticed that the two youths on his couch were sitting closer to each other, a little too close even; their arms would softly rub against each other without either of them complaining. Then again, they were talking about an awful lot.

"_Staaaaan-uh! _ Stop standing there!" Cartman threw his head back as he wailed, lying on Kyle's shoulder. The redhead huffed and looked up at his friend before gently patting his head. His small, lanky fingers would carefully rake through a fistful of smooth, chestnut locks, and he kept touching him there, as if he were a small kitten. He then turned to the other boy, "Stan, just hurry up. Please?"

The black-haired teen rolled his eyes and went on his way. A few bags of unopened popcorn were already lying next to the microwave, and Stan ripped off the plastic from one bag before placing it inside the machine, setting the timer to two minutes. Suddenly, Stan felt funny in his lower region, and it took him a few seconds to realize he needed to use the bathroom… immediately. He cursed at himself for drinking too much soda. He didn't recall taking a piss three days ago, probably because he was too lazy to basically do anything.

When Stan returned to the living room with the refreshments, the movie was almost over, but the two guests were heretofore half-asleep. Kyle's head laid on the cushions - his fiery mop of red hair peeked out of his green ushanka - while Cartman practically rested on Kyle's small yet broad shoulder.

The image had brought the teenaged Stanley back to his pubescent past; the eight-year-old boy turning around to see a pair of old friends falling asleep during a long way back to their elementary school after an exciting field trip.

Stan sighed and before heading towards the DVD player, turning it off for the night.

He grabbed Kyle by the shoulder and shook him a bit. "_ Psst _. Guys. Wake up."

Kyle's eyes flutter open. "Mmn. W-what?"

"You guys passed out."

"Oh. Sorry about that," He then nudged the bigger boy on the arm, "Cartman. Dude, get up. Cartman."

A loud snort escaped the other guy's lips as his eyes opened abruptly. "H-huh?"

"Movie's over."

"Finally," Cartman groaned before stretching his arms. "Well, thanks for the invite, Stan. Could you drive us home?"

Stan frowned. "You live ten minutes away from me. By foot."

"Don't worry, Stan. We're walking home together. Thanks, dude," said Kyle, punctuating his gratitude with a pat on Stan's shoulder.

"Uh, alright. No problem."

The black-haired teen casually straightened up the living room as Kyle and Cartman left. After everything that happened throughout the day, he also couldn't wait to go back to bed.

* * *

Stan was one of the select few students at Park County High School to have a driver's license. Of course, that also meant he has his own car, and by his own car he meant Randy's. Stan's current car was a 2002 Honda Accord and he remembered in his fifth grade year his dad bought it for himself. Randy claimed that the car meant so much to him - and he wanted to pass it down as a gift for his son and other generations to come; but it was obvious it was a cheap hand-me-down; and he wouldn't want to spend his money for anyone else. Surprisingly enough, the vehicle was in decent condition; only a few patches of Noble Green car paint had been chipped off, the seats - while a bit shabby and smudged with a few noticeable stains - were comforting, the radio worked fine and a marijuana-shaped air freshener was hanging at the driver mirror to top it all off. While he usually went to school by himself, he would sometimes give Kenny a lift, and that was exactly what he did this morning.

"Hey, dude," Stan greeted the blond coolly.

"My man Stan!" Kenny smiled. "Oh, wait! I almost forgot," he reached inside his back pocket and placed a wad of crumpled up dollars on Stan's wide palm. The raven-haired boy counted the money while flattening them. He groaned at the final amount. "Oh, perfect. Four dollars. That's enough money for gas," he said sarcastically.

"Sorry, man," Kenny looked down a bit. "Last night I found out my dumbass dad spent most of our emergency money on that fucking beer… again. I had to do something."

"I think all of our dads are dumbasses," Stan added, staring at the air freshener. He had thought about it for only a few seconds and concluded that what the blonde said made perfect sense. Kenny would definitely have a stack of cash hidden in his room, and Stuart must've snuck in there to get a hold of his favorite poison. To be fair, Jameson Irish Whiskey _ was _ pretty addicting. "Alright, I'll let this one slide."

"Thanks, dude. I promise I'll pay you back by the end of next month."

"Next month?"

"Well, yeah. I told you guys I just got hired at the new comic book shop, remember?"

"Oh yeah." Stan could understand why. Before midsummer, the blond had worked at Super Phun Thyme and he honest to God claimed it was worse than Hell itself (and Kenny would protest that he'd actually went to Hell, but because he was immortal he would always come back to life. Of course, Stan and the others thought all of that info was complete bullshit).

The engine huffed small puffs of smoke once Stan had turned his car keys and within seconds the vehicle had resumed its mundane travel to school.

Kenny suddenly proceeded to speak up. "So Cartman told me you didn't bother inviting us to your place last night."

Damn Cartman and his big mouth. "Kenny, it wasn't even like that. I only invited Kyle because he and David had broken up and I wanted to cheer him up a little. He wanted to bring Cartman over at the last minute."

"Oh, we'll I guess that's understandable," Kenny replied. "I'm not gonna lie, Stan. I don't recall you two being interactive since elementary school. You two used to be super tight. You were the peanut butter to his jelly. The coffee to his cream. The Terrance to his Phillip. The Guy-Manuel de Homem-Christo to his Thomas Bangalter. The Trey Parker to his Matt Stone."

Okay, now this boy was getting chatty at this point. "I get it Kenny. Jesus."

"I don't think you do. Kyle really misses you, man."

Stan sighed and stopped at a red light. He opted to say something he'd been meaning to ask since forever.

"Kenny?"

"Hm?"

"Since when did Kyle exactly tell you he was gay?"

"Uh, I don't know. It's been about a year, right? Oh, wait, now I remember. It was last year at Clyde's 'get-together' party at his house. We were all swooning over some hot chicks who were visiting from North Park the other week, and Kyle was the only person who didn't show much interest in them. Then out of nowhere Bradley asked if he liked guys," Kenny giggled. "You should've seen the look on his face. He was petrified. But he managed to confess it. I think he wanted to wait a bit longer to come out, though…"

Stan only knew about Kyle's sexuality a few days after. Though to be fair, Clyde didn't even invite him at the time.

"I'll be real with you, Stan. I've never really expected Kyle to be in a committed relationship. Like yeah, he was able to attract a few cute girls before he came out, but that was like, what? Once in a blue moon? Not to mention he always seems so… hmm…"

"Self-sufficient?"

Kenny let out a small chuckle. "Yeah. A little _ too _ self-sufficient if you ask me. You gotta give David some credit. He must've dealt with a lot of Kyle's shit."

Stan nodded, "It might take Kyle another million years until he finds another guy to lock lips with."

"Agreed."

The two teens remained silent for the rest of the ride to school.

* * *

The rest of the school day was typical; missing homework assignments, study guides for upcoming tests, potential fights broken up by the teachers. Nothing new this time.

David ran into Stan once classes were over, carrying a brown box. He asked the other boy to give it to Kyle, since he couldn't find him at all during the day, and he had an early shift at his restaurant in the evening. So after football practice Stan sat outside the school gymnasium Kyle was in, only five minutes before basketball practice would be over for the afternoon. He had already opened the box, and just as he suspected, there were numerous of items David borrowed from his then boyfriend. One was a dreidel made out of clay. It must've been an old art project. Another one Stan found was an old but untouched Jennifer Lopez CD. Maybe David loved R&B. The rest of the items were basically small notes Kyle and David wrote to each other, and Stan could've sworn he saw a poem or two. He then picked up a photo booth strip of the two wearing face paint (a tiger for Kyle and a skeleton for David) making silly faces and having a wonderful time, with the final photo ending with a soft, sincere kiss. Stan sighed, leaning against the brick wall. Imagine having something so wholehearted and pure in your life, only for it to be taken away without warning.

The sound of footsteps were coming to Stan's direction. It was just Cartman, in his casual wardrobe this time.

"Oh, it's just you."

"Why hello there, Stanley. I've been doing just fine," Cartman said sarcastically. He looked at the box. "Watcha got there?"

The other boy blushed and faced towards the door, wishing Kyle would hurry up.

Cartman saw Kyle's stuff as he looked down, snickering right after. "Well, I always knew you got a thing for Kyle, but isn't this a bit much?" The brunette then sat with the frustrated athlete.

"None of these are mine, dude."

The brunette's face softened after looking at the box a bit longer. "Wait a minute," he proceeded to snatch the package from Stan's arm in one go.

"Hey!"

"_Shhh_," Cartman interrupted, not breaking eye contact. "Just shut up a second."

Within seconds Cartman's hands roamed through the entire box. With a once in a lifetime opportunity like this, he should've been as ecstatic as a young little boy snooping his Christmas presents. But instead he kept that look on his face. Stan couldn't make it out, but he was feeling some type of way. Eyebrows knitting together as his mouth formed a crestfallen frown. When he held the photo strip he just stared at it, and it was clear he was dissatisfied.

The larger teen tossed the picture back into its respective holder. He then covered half of his face and looked away, looking over the exit. Stan reached out and tapped his shoulder. "...Cartman?"

The other guy blinked, Stan's touch bringing him back from his abstraction. "Huh?"

"Are you okay?"

Cartman nodded, but it was clear that he didn't know how to feel. "Uh, yeah."

"What are you guys doing here?"

The two loitering teens jumped and turned to see Kyle in his sweaty basketball attire, rubbing his neck with a short white towel. He stopped and stomped towards Cartman, as the towel dropped on the floor. "Cartman... what's that you're holding?"

"David asked me to bring your stuff back," Cartman lied.

"Dude. Really?"

The brunette placed an index finger in front of the boy next to him. "Not now, Stan. We're kinda in the middle of something." Stan stared at him bitterly.

"Why the hell are you guys going through my stuff?" Kyle demanded.

"Calm down, it's not like any of these are important anyway," Cartman retorted.

"Even if they aren't, that doesn't mean you can look through my things without my permission! I like to keep things private, too!"

"C'mon, man. The entire school already knows you and David are in Splitsville. Why is it such a big deal to you?"

"_Eric_. Don't start this shit," the redhead had suddenly closed the space between them, staring at a tense Cartman dead in his cerulean eyes. "Hand over the Goddamn box."

All of a sudden everything was uncomfortably hushed; and Stan felt claustrophobic looking at the bickering teenagers. He felt the threatening weight build up inside his chest. Like something awful was going to happen if Cartman refused the smaller boy's request. He wondered if the brunette felt it too.

But just like that, Cartman let out a long sigh, clearly bothered, "Fine." He shoved the box towards Kyle. Aggravated, the redhead took a deep breath. "Thank you."

"You're welcome, _ mother_."

Stan gulped, the feeling in his chest disappearing. "I'm gonna leave, now." And just like that he walked away, desperate to block the squabbles from his eardrums.

It didn't take him long to drive back home (Kenny had to catch the bus to get to his new job) and it felt much longer and quieter than it was this morning. When he unlocked his door, he could hear the running water from the kitchen sink. Sharon was cooking dinner tonight.

"Mom?" Stan yelled, patiently waiting for a response, "Mom?"

"Oh, hello, Stanley," Sharon replied back. "I didn't hear the door open."

She didn't say anything else after that. Stan attempted to break the ice once more. "A couple of my classmates almost got into a fight."

"Oh, well that's awful. Good thing you're not getting into trouble. Or at least I hope so." Immediately the water faucet was turned off, and Sharon was finally in the same room with her son.

A bit content, Stan continued on. "I'm also getting better with my Physics homework."

"Perfect!" the brunette beamed. "My one and only son is on the right track."

"Are you gonna come to the Homecoming game next Friday?" Stan suddenly asked.

His mom showed him a small frown. "Oh, I don't know. My schedule is pretty booked."

Stan simply nodded. "That's fine. I'll honestly skip the dance this year. I haven't even figured out what I want to wear."

Sharon was displeased by her son's reply. "You always wait until the last minute."

She then thought of an idea. "Hmm. I'll tell you what. I'll be off sometime this weekend and we'll go shopping together. Sounds like fun?"

"I think that's fair."

Sharon looked at him softly. She trapped him inside her warm embrace, and her smile grew wider once he hugged her back. When the contact was broken, she placed one of her hands onto his. "I just want you to enjoy your life as you can, Stan. I know things are a bit rusty between us, but I love you so much. Randy and I want the best of you. And I'm sure your grandfather and Shelly would say the same thing."

"Mom," Stan responded blankly. "Me and Shelly hated each other. As a matter of fact, we still do hate each other to this day."

"Oh, stop it, Stan. You two to just had a normal sibling rivalry, that's all."

"One time she threw the family piano at me and Kyle just because we were making faces at her while she was singing her stupid Christmas song. Did I forget to mention she even set me on fire? Because that totally happened."

Sharon's eyes widened. "Oh. Wait, seriously?" She let go of her son, placing her fingers on her chin. "I don't think I recall any of that. I'll have to ask her when she gets back. You better not be lying to me this time."

Stan sighed and walked upstairs, his bed awaiting him.

"We'll talk about this later. Promise!"

"Sure," he replied without turning back.

Stan finally made it to his room. It was messy, like it has always been (which was normal for an average teenage boy, much to Sharon's dismay), but Stan didn't really care. There was no rush. He dropped his backpack on the floor, right before slumping on the mattress.

He just remembered he had homework. And it was due in the next two days. '_Crap_.' He sat up and dug inside his backpack, pulling out his English notebook and _ Pride and Prejudice_. He had to write a big essay based on the novel, and that meant he had to read it to know which direction he was going for...which he didn't do at all. Stan hardly got back to reading books; he only attempted to do so to complete his assignments. The writing style in this story was far too complex and difficult for the poor boy's liking. Thankfully, he didn't have to go through this torture, and he turned to his laptop and went online to SparkNotes. This may count as cheating, but on the other hand his teacher's a pretty tough cookie, so getting a little help couldn't hurt. And besides, why stop now? Everyone was doing it, well everyone except Kyle of course. Stan remembered Kyle bitching at him, Butters, and Clyde for not attempting to understand the symbolism of the _ Great Gatsby_, only to get an eighty-one percent on his test.

Apparently everyone in class had to describe which of the two main characters they relate to the most. Stan didn't get this whole topic at all. Isn't everyone a bit prideful in their own way? Well… maybe Stan wasn't the most confident person (having depression is a bitch), but he sure wasn't prejudiced. Yeah, he and everyone else made fun of that lame ass British twat Pip back in elementary school, but that was it. He was currently hanging out with a dude on poverty and he had a gay, Jewish best friend. There was a fair percentage of minorities in South Park on this day and age, and he had no problem with any of them. A lot of his peers were gay, like a lot. There was Craig and Tweek for starters, Big Gay Al and his husband Mr. Slave. Even Wendy, his former childhood sweetheart, was a lesbian as of late. Hell, even Satan was a decent guy, God rest his soul. Unfortunately he couldn't say the same about Mr. Garrison...

Stan huffed and decided he needed a snack to refuel his mind. This assignment was going to be tougher than he thought. He then heard the sound of glass clinking from downstairs and reckoned that he should help his mom. A little more work should help his brain running.

* * *

Cartman had a pretty bad habit of doing his homework at the last minute. He begged Kyle to take a peak of his report, but the other boy refused and protested that this assignment meant so much to him. It only took poor Stan so much of the brunette's constant whining until he finally gave in. Luckily for Cartman, he shared the same English class with both Stan and Kyle, which would always start right after their 12:00 lunch period. Knowing Cartman, Stan knew it would take him no more than five minutes to find the key points and another twenty minutes to 'revise his own thesis' at the computer lab.

They finally made it to class with only two minutes to spare. Stan was sitting at his desk and Cartman was about to walk past him.

"_Ahem._"

Cartman looked at Stan before he remembered to give back his stolen report. "Oh, yeah. Here," he said, waving the crumpled paper in front of him. The other boy frowned and snatched it back. Kyle walked towards the two, unsatisfied by what he saw.

"You let him cheat, didn't you?" he asked looking down at Stan.

"He wouldn't shut up, dude."

According to Kyle, that wasn't a good excuse."There's a thing called self-control, Stan. You can't just let any asshole get to you like that."

Stan rolled his eyes but didn't say anything, and instead he just sat there and checked his phone. Just like last time, he could overhear Kyle and Cartman talking to each other.

"And _ you _," Kyle continued on, his finger stabbing Cartman's chest. "You know that Mrs. Williams will find out that you've basically copied someone's paper, right?"

"Well, I didn't have to if you'd came over to help me like you've promised," Cartman retorted back.

Kyle let out a small gasp. "Aw, man. Should've told you about Ike. He had the stomach flu that day and we all had to take care of him."

"Uh-huh. Not so consisted now, aren't ya Kyle?"

The redhead groaned. "Fine, I'm sorry for bailing on you. I'll tell you what, we can try again next week. But just promise me you'll stop cheating and procrastinating, okay?"

"Sure thing, Mom." Kyle was ironically a better mother than Liane at this point.

A few moments later and the teacher arrived right before the bell. "Alright everyone, class has officially started, time to quiet down and take your seats," said Mrs. Williams. She fixed her dark hair (which was already in the ponytail) as the sunlight from the window exposed her light brown skin. She waited for everyone to settle down before she spoke again. "Now, your oral report is due today. And before any of you start crying to me, I gave all of you two whole weeks. I'll be calling everyone up in alphabetical order. Broflovski, you're the first one up."

The redhead got up and stood and stood at the front of the class, standing next to his teacher's desk.

"Fucking teacher's pet," Clyde groaned under his breath, only to be hushed by Kevin Stoley.

"In just one sitting, Elizabeth Bennett has never failed to catch my eye. She was honestly one of the most influential characters in all of fiction, and it shows as this was her story. Despite her intelligence she was considered the black sheep of the family, specifically her own mother. Unlike her sisters, she wasn't desperate for guys' attention, and would even pity her sisters for their idée fixe. This, however, had earned her father's respect, and a hint of her prejudice was in play here.

According to certain parts of the story, the term 'prejudice' was used rather loosely in the 19th century. Eliza didn't judge her subjects by their religion or financial status, but rather by their character. The perfect example was whenever she interacted with her rival and soon-to-be love interest, Fitzwilliam Darcy, mainly known as just Darcy.

Darcy was considered a handsome and rich young man, but was also cocky and arrogant, thus resembling pride. While Eliza herself was a bit smug, she lacked the one thing that Darcy claimed he didn't have: vanity. He secretly cared what others think of him, and when Eliza shamelessly mocked him for testing her own pride, he would ultimately prove to her that he wasn't just a snob…"

As Kyle continued on with his speech, Stan took a quick glimpse at Cartman. The brunette would usually zone out when he was forced to see Kyle being the center of attention. He would look in a different direction and pay no attention, make throaty noises whenever 'he had a cold', pretend to read his textbook - when really, he would be on his phone doing whatever - but not this time. This time he listened, like the essay was speaking to him on a distinctive level.

Cartman caught Stan, and the raven-haired boy quickly turned back to Kyle. It only took about twenty seconds until Cartman ripped a piece of paper from his notebook and handed it to Stan. The other boy saw the small note on Cartman's fingers and quickly snagged it before anyone could catch them.

When Kyle finished his presentation, Mrs. Williams was astonished. "Thank you, Mr. Broflovski. Your essays never disappoint me."

"Thank you, Mrs. Williams," Kyle responded, before heading back to his seat.

"Let's see… Mr. Cartman? You're next."

The brunette gave Stan a sly wink before he was on his feet. Stan then unfolded the note. It read: _ 'Kyle really did put the 'Jew' in Pre-_Jew_-dice, huh?' _

Stan pinched the bridge of his nose. Same old Eric Cartman.

* * *

The weekend was finally here once school was over, and Stan and Kenny decided to chill and smoke a few joints outside of town. The black-haired boy had already hid a bag of weed and a small green lighter inside his glove department, and Kenny found the whereabouts to get high. Because of that the two boys both decided to get out of the car for a better experience.

"Jesus, why haven't we thought about doing this before?" Stan moaned, his arm supporting his head as he was lying down.

"We should definitely do this more often, man," Kenny vowed. "I tried to get Cartman to do this with me, but I guess he wasn't feeling it after a few times."

Stan nodded in acknowledgement and took out his iPhone and turned on some of his favorite music from his Spotify playlist. The first song that played was _ Sadderdaze _by The Neighbourhood, and he decided to put the song on repeat. Stan was pretty picky when it comes to mainstream music, but there was something about this song that intrigued him. Maybe it was the melodic, melancholic tune, the lead singer's raspy voice, or the (extremely) relatable lyrics; either way, the song never failed to reel him in.

But before his mind would be trapped into light-headed bliss, Stan couldn't help but to think about Kyle and Cartman and their constant disputes for the umpteenth time that day. Stan had always hated this; the eventualities between these two creeping into his train of thought. He couldn't help but bring Kenny into the matter once more.

"Ken?"

"Yeah?" the blond replied, his head still facing the sky.

"Have you spoken to Cartman today?"

"Uh, no. Not really. I only saw him walking with Kyle right after my final period was over. It's kinda odd. But I guess it's because Kyle's Math Club was cancelled for the week. Why did you ask?"

"I don't know. He's been on Kyle's ass a lot. And I mean a lot," he turned to Kenny. "He was even going on how Kyle should just get over David the other day. He must really hate that dude."

Kenny moved his head to look at Stan face to face. "You know Cartman. He instigates shit all the damn time. Remember back in the fourth grade he lied about Tammy Warner cheating on me? I still haven't forgiven him for doing that."

"You know what? You're right. Maybe I'm just looking too deep into things. How do you even put up with him?"

"I should ask you the same thing. But all jokes aside, he was the only other guy who acknowledged my existence," he looked away from Stan, "And we care about each other more than we want to admit…"

Something told Stan that Kenny meant exactly what he said.

"Thanks, man."

"For what?"

"Nothing special. For letting me come with you."

"Oh. Well you're welcome."

In a way, he felt sorry for Kenny. He hardly thought about being in his shoes. Spending his entire youth with hardly any money, he felt like a hermit, hesitant to ask for a lending hand. And that didn't even cover it. He hadn't come over to his house, so he didn't know how worse his parents were becoming, and as they would continue to get wasted and beat each other up (God forbid they did the same thing to their own kids), it was a fucking miracle that the McCormick family still had a roof under their heads. Maybe he felt like an outsider too, and he wanted to disappear. And he was the most humble guy Stan knew. He kept that attitude all his life, like this was something to get used to. Stan wanted to ask him if he ever felt the same way he felt, but he could never bring himself to do that, because if he did at least Stan would know that he wasn't alone, but on the flipside it seemed rather selfish on Stan's part; so he decided it was best not to know for sure.

He smoked his blunt again, relishing the fuzziness he wished he felt many years ago. His entire being was loose and in no time he was as light as a feather, drifting away with the wind.

* * *

Spirit Week was considered one of the most memorable events at school. It was the only week when students could wear more casually without violating the dress code. Wednesday was unironically Stan's favorite because it was Pajama Day; he and the other boys (specifically Kenny) got to see cute girls in their cute sleepwear while he basically walked around with his aforementioned attire. Apparently Kenny did the same thing with his torn shirt and pants, but throughout the day he had everyone commenting on how he looked like a homeless bum.

Stan had never really cared for Homecoming, and if he wasn't on the school's football team he would've gladly stayed in his room. Throughout the next week the young man had to go through Sharon's rambling while they both wander around the local clothing store.

Stan decided to go to the dance alone this year, since most of his past dates had walked off on him at the very last second. Kenny would've gone with Bebe this year, but she later dumped him for Clyde because apparently he was able to rent a nice limo. Kenny seemed relieved when Stan said he wasn't the only one, but the other boy couldn't blame him. The blond may not be the sexiest or richest guy at his school, but to Stan, he was level-headed, and could be solicitous if you wanted him to be.

Stan's football team had three hours after school to prepare for the biggest game of the semester; being awaited by another group of teen athletes from a suburban private school the following evening. It was a pretty big deal too, a group of boys from a bizarre town of freaks going against these perfect, preppy rich kids who apparently lived on the opposite side of Colorado. When Stan and his team entered the stadium, he didn't see Sharon or Randy (which was expected) but instead spotted Kyle and Cartman sitting together, the former waving at him while the latter munched on his Hershey's chocolate bar. The game itself went surprisingly well. The entire Park County Cows gave their all, and they only had to bend their Coach's strategy. Stan assumed he and David would have a harder time working together, but instead they pulled through, and went as far as to win the competition. As the team's respective crowd cheered, Kyle was trapped in Cartman's broad arms as they hollered victoriously and he didn't flinch once. If there was one thing that kept Stan diverting, he was glad it was football.

* * *

The ballroom was packed, the majority consisted of the high-caliber yet easily forgettable Seniors and the familiar faces of the Junior class. This year's theme was 'Evening in Paris' - the most recognizable prop, the Eiffel Tower, only stood eight feet tall, far from the ceiling - as the blue, red, and purple hues from the stage lights splashed onto the entire room with moving, adolescent bodies. Authentically, no one actually cared about some theme, the setting could be the most beguiling idyll someone had ever seen, and it would be clashed by one's arrant rowdiness.

Stan was at the far end of the room, sitting at a table plastered with a large, indigo covering. He actually liked it that way. Sure, he didn't mind getting some recognition from his team and classmates, let alone the nameless strangers who he didn't know stayed at his school. But that was enough for him, he didn't want to become the leading light for such a volatile audience.

Kenny finally came back and sat next to Stan. He would've sat from across the table if the giant vase wasn't blocking each other's faces. Because he couldn't afford a nice suit, he went with a classic tuxedo t-shirt and a pair of his cleanest black denim pants.

"How are you liking it, man?"

Stan looked around once more, and simply answered, "It could be worse."

Kenny snickered at his friend's comment. A guy soon walked past them. His suit was probably the most unnecessarily formal outfit anyone could wear at a Homecoming dance ever. He stopped to find a table across the room after openly shunning two of his classmates, apparently he thought that both their suits had the worst case of washed-out, faded colors.

"Ugh. I can't stand this dude," Kenny muttered.

"I know. He's so determined he'll be this year's Homecoming King. I bet he even flaunted about it on his Instagram."

"I heard the Homecoming Committee had nominated him anyway, just so they could fuck with him and give the crown to someone else. They've been doing this since his Freshman year."

"Wow. He must be a bigger prick than I thought."

"You're definitely not wrong."

There was a girl sitting next to him, her elbows supporting her head, hands lying on her cheeks. Her interactions with her date were forced and she even flipped him off when his back was turned. She obviously repent going out with him.

"Y'know Ken, that Natalie chick seems to be over him. You just might get another chance tonight."

"And have this dickwad on my ass for the rest of the year? Nah. Not worth it. Besides, I don't wanna add more fuel to the fire."

Kenny then looked near the center of the room, where the girls gushed over their cute dresses; specifically Bebe's red two piece pleats with the criss-cross straps on her back. He let out a long sigh, so bummed for losing such a beautiful date.

"Welp, I tried. I'm gonna get some punch."

"I'll be sitting right here."

As Stan left his chair, he took quick glimpses from every corner of the room to see any signs of Kyle or Cartman. The last time he saw them, Cartman was begging Kyle to be part of his group picture. He already took one including Stan and Kenny, but apparently that wasn't enough. It was weird, they were a lot more absent than Kenny at this point.

After he poured a scoop of fruit punch into his plastic cup, he took a quick sip before bumping into someone.

"God, I'm sorry, I didn't see yo-"

He stopped mid-sentence when a familiar figure stood in front of him.

"Oh, hi Wendy."

She smiled. "Hi. Guess it's been awhile, huh?"

"Y-yeah," he cleared his throat. "How about you? You're doing okay?"

She used her free hand to brush some hair off her shoulder. "Why, yes. I'm doing fine. Hopefully you're doing great, as well?"

"Yeah. Totally. Absolutely."

For almost seven years, Wendy still managed to look so beautiful. She was wearing a lavender off-the-shoulder gown, her long, raven hair curled up on the back of her shoulders; like a bouquet of dark roses. From that moment Stan was happy he was given the privilege to talk to her again.

So much beauty radiated her spiritually like an aurora, but he only managed to spit out a mere comment, "I like your dress."

"Thanks. And I like your suit. It brings out the color of your eyes."

"Ah, it's nothing. My mom picked it out for me."

"Well it doesn't hurt to get a little help," she reached out to fix his slightly crooked tie.

"Haha. Very funny."

"You did a great job at the game tonight."

"Thanks. And I assume you're still kicking ass for the girls' volleyball team. I don't recall you cheerleading anymore?"

"Sometimes you just… want to do more than to commit your time into boosting the egos of eighty percent of your school's sports team. And besides. I've proven myself to be quite the setter."

"Well if you ever start doubting yourself, I'll be more than happy to be your cheerleader."

Wendy's reaction was blank and she only blinked her eyes. There was that awkward silence again.

"Shit. Did that sound creepy? I didn't mean it like that, Wendy, please don't kick my ass!"

Thankfully that didn't happen, because she was laughing instead. "I-it's okay. I appreciate your offer, but I have to decline. Although the idea of you in a cheerleading uniform is kinda funny."

Stan laughed along with her. "Yeah, it is," he said, trying not to sound too smug.

The long-haired girl took a quick glance at Bebe, Nichole and the other girls, all of them standing near the photo booth.

"The girls are probably waiting for me right now, so I'll talk to you later, okay?"

"No problem. Oh, and Wendy?"

"Hm?"

"Heidi's lucky to have a girlfriend like you…"

He could see her cheeks turn pink, but not from the stage lights. "Thank you."

Stan smiled and swirled his cup a bit while the girl walked away. That went better than he expected. He sincerely knew that she would be with someone else, just not with another girl, particularly with Heidi. That information wasn't classified from him, however. One afternoon he walked into the two girls sharing kisses on school grounds a while back (which he apologized for over and over). Cartman, however, was left unfazed since he no longer cared for either of those so-called 'uptight chicks'. He would nonetheless make occasional remarks on 'how his ex-girlfriend was currently fucking Stan's ex-girlfriend'; sometimes loud enough for the poor couple to hear, and sometimes worth the broken nose from Wendy.

Fatass just wouldn't fuck off, would he?

Stan claimed he was over Wendy at this point, but he still loved her very much, and wished for the best of her.

When Stan got back with his half-empty drink, Kenny vacantly smirked at him.

"What are you smiling at?" he asked playfully.

Kenny raised his hands up a bit, still grinning. "I'm not saying anything, man."

"Good. Keep it that way."

Suddenly Kenny sat up and was at Stan's side of the table. "Well, since we're the only guys here without a date…" He pulled his hand from one of his pockets and bowed a bit, like he was some poverty-ridden Prince Charming. "Wanna dance for a little bit?"

Stan blinked and raised his eyebrow, hesitant at first, but eventually gave in. The moment their cold palms meet the blonde carefully tugged Stan's arm as they head to the dancefloor.

They'd danced together a bit longer than they thought. Neither of them really danced the first time, each movement was relaxed and lethargic, while somehow undertaking the rhythm that was given to them. Kenny went as far as to show off a bit, earning a few laughs from his friend. It felt embarrassing. Thankfully, none of the songs that played had a slow-tempo, and each group was having a blast on the dancefloor; so Kenny picked the perfect opportunity.

Everyone else appeared to be enjoying themselves, as the rest of the night remained placid. When a slow song came on, the boys accordingly placed out their hands, the girls complied and moved closer, and some affection occurred while some dates remained chaste. Tweek looked so smitten when his head was on Craig's chest, holding onto his shoulders despite knowing his boyfriend would never let go; and Craig responded by leaning on Tweek's shoulder and pulling him closer. Wendy brushed a few strands of hair that were on Heidi's forehead and placed them on the back of her ear. The other girl smiled and enclosed the space between them to share a tender kiss.

After the dance an awkward-looking female Senior came up to the stage to announce this year's Homecoming King and Queen. Token Black and Bebe Stevens had the most votes - they were much more popular than any of the upperclassmen - and Douchebag McAssohle from earlier nearly went up stage to strangle the nerdling while his classmates laughed at him. Tonight wasn't at all perfect, but it felt natural somehow; just a group of youths having a good time, as their teenage years slowly but surely fade away.

As the King and Queen slow-danced, Stan looked back to his last placement. Neither Cartman or Kyle were back. Where were they? They'd been gone for over half an hour. Stan's curious little mind couldn't help but to wonder what was going on between his two friends. And right on cue, the bathroom door slammed open, revealing a fretted Cartman and a riled up Kyle.

Speak of the Devil.

"Kyle! Kyle!" Cartman yelled, bumping into a few of his classmates.

"Get away from me."

"Oh, no." Stan quickly walked towards them.

"Stan?" Kenny asked but said boy didn't respond.

Kyle pushed the door open and the other three followed suit.

"Kyle, I said I was sorry!"

"I don't care."

"Stop walking away and talk to me!"

"Go fuck yourself."

"So that's how it's gonna be, huh? It's been eight years and you _ still _ have that sand in your vagin-"

"Just stop it!" He finally turned to Cartman, which was probably a big mistake. "You just never learn, do you?! Wait- what the fuck am I talking about, of course you don't!"

"Well look who's talking, 'Mr. I'm Way Much Better Than Everyone'. You're not as perfect as you think you are."

"At least I'm not a fat fuck who makes everything about him! You think you can't get away with everything but you can't and you never will. You don't know when to stop and I'm sick of it."

"I don't know when to stop? It's always 'Shut up, Fatass. Everything I do or say is better because I say so. If you do this you're a terrible person. It's only okay when I do it!'" He continued on. "Tell me Kyle, when was the last time you were given any respect for the stuff you've done?"

The shorter male was silent, shaking his head as he bit his lip. He always hated that fat bastard being right.

The taller male let out a harsh chuckle, adding disparity from his lighthearted side. "We're so fucking alike. And you won't admit it."

"Here you go again. Spewing bullshit right out of your ass."

"Alright now, guys. Let's all calm dow-"

"Shut up, Kenny!" Cartman and Kyle barked in unison.

Kyle pointed to his adversary. "You're not gonna try and manipulate me. Not again."

"I'm only stating the facts, Kyle. One day you'll get that through your thick head."

"Just… stay away from me. For real this time. I'm done," he slowly backed away.

"Wait, Kyle," When Cartman laid a hand on his shoulder, Kyle let out a harsh yell before punching Cartman straight in his eye.

Stan was dismayed. "Dude!"

"_What did I just say?!_"

Stan and Kenny rushed towards them; the blond carefully got the poor brunette off the ground, only for Cartman to yank his arm away from Kenny's grip. Meanwhile, Stan was in the middle, the feeling in his chest stinging him again. He felt like he was pierced by a scorpion; because he was breathing heavily, his head hurts and his throat felt dense and he was praying that he wouldn't throw up in front of anymore approaching students from the dance. He touched both of Kyle's shoulders, but not too tight, as he was striving to tame a small, yet deadly creature; even the tiniest of wrong movements could lead to baleful results.

"Don't touch me!" the redhead bayed, promptly pushing his frightened friend back.

His eyes were glassy, on the verge of tears. "All of you. Leave me alone. Please."

No one did anything, letting the shorter male stomp away before he has another meltdown. Stan turned to the remaining two. Cartman kept quiet this time, being physically and emotionally drained. He finally turned the other way, leaving Stan and Kenny to get used to the aftermath of one of his innumerable affrays.

Instead of grieving, the last two boys were surfeited. So much for having a good old time. Stan looked at Kenny and cleared his throat, "Need a ride home?"

He watched as the blond nodded his head immediately. He decided to never go to another dance again.

* * *

Stan always knew that Kyle and Cartman had a rather… intense relationship. It was nothing like he saw before. There were the two friends who had a brotherly bond, there were the two friends who see each other from time to time, there were the two friends with a superficial purpose - on the spectrum between scratching one's back and to seek ecstasy - and then there was Kyle Broflovski and Eric Cartman. While not completely enemies, the two teenagers were hardly considered as friends, more like acquaintances at best and rivals at worst. But even those labels were dichotomies; they made up their own category. Some thought they were better off without each other; but literally made up half of the group - yin and yang - and without the yang half leaves a cold, despairing ambiance. So yeah, these two were very important.

It was funny that way. And what was even funnier was the idea that neither of them were survivable without each other. The fact that they would still talk to each other to this day had proven Stan's point.

There was definitely something going on with the two teenagers. For some reason it wasn't as pointless as most of their convicted interactions.

Kyle and Cartman had been nearly inseparable the past few months, probably long before Kyle had dumped David. Not to mention the playful backchat they had during Movie Night. Stan was so quiet he might as well be in a different room, and the other two wouldn't notice that, and would continue laughing at each other's jokes like he wasn't even there. And that hug at the end of his football game. Kyle could've easily shoved Cartman hard enough for him to fall off his seat, especially since they were all in public, but he didn't.

Stan recalled the year prior, when Cartman was seen with someone at Kyle's basketball game. Her name was Terri, a cute Filipina who would wear the cutest outfits despite being a bit chubby. Plus, she was a new student at the time; so it would make sense for her to believe that Cartman was this nice, charismatic teenage boy. When the game was over, Kyle couldn't take it anymore. Instead of heading to the locker room like the others, he grabbed the brunette by the wrist and yanked him away from the poor girl. Was Kyle jealous of Cartman? Well... maybe in retrospect. And that was probably why Cartman had that dirty look when he was snooping through David's box a few weeks ago.

Stan had seen this all before, and came up with an outlandish theory that has made their chemistry seem more or less artificial.

Shelly used to work at Blockbuster, so whenever she got the chance she would bring home that pile of DVDs of her own, and every week she would binge watch all of them in a single night. Stan would sometimes watch with her if there was certainly nothing for him to do, though he did remember _ 10 Things I Hate About You_. He thought that was a stupid movie. Typical bad boy changing his ways solely to get a typical 'not like other people' girl to date him. Bad Boy fucks up, Weird Girl gets pissed, no one is happy. And after all of that, they still got back together. Teen sitcoms had done the same thing, except sometimes the roles were often diverse and the angry tomboy/mean girl would date the awkward nerdy tech boy who she ridiculed every chance she gets. Kyle was arguably a huge nerd nowadays, but he wasn't some scrawny pussy. And Cartman would be the egotistical dick who thought he could have anything his way, but often lacks both the appearance and (sometimes) charm to do so. Such an incompatible pairing, but hey, opposites attract like a magnet, right? Maybe that was how Stan and Kyle got so distant over the years. At the beginning these two acted the same, sounded the same, had the same interests; it was almost like they were twins. They were the south poles that would pull away from each other. But with Cartman, he seemed so different from Kyle that they would become polar opposites, and eventually stick together.

What if they… actually liked each other…?

_ 'No. Not in a million years. That's fucking crazy. What was I thinking? But…' _

But it was so crazy that it was possible.

They had always helped each other in the end, whether it was mutual or for personal gain. They were even mistaken as a couple before. But that was because they both had AIDS around the same time. And he hadn't forgotten the stunt at the basketball game back when they were in the fourth grade. But Cartman only wanted Token and Nichole to get back together, and the mere thought of anyone being with Kyle of all people made him sick to his stomach. And the Craig and Tweek situation spoke volumes; they were still together and they genuinely cared for each other. So on the surface it kind of made sense. And the likelihood made this entire situation much worse.

Kyle was green, and Cartman was red; an aesthetically pleasing combination at first, but when mixed together they create the ugliest brown; dark ashes in the atmosphere contaminating the ecosystem. They were two kings battling for the throne. They were a dangerous duo. God knows what chaos may ensue.

Stan would hate for this to happen, but he was a pessimist, so he dreaded the day they finally confessed their love for each other.

* * *

To some, the meaning of a birthday is simply the day one was conceived and brought to Earth, even a holiday to most, accompanied by well-thought out gifts and the over-affection from friends and loved ones.

But to Stan, a birthday, his birthday, was just a regular day.

October 19th had come, and Stanley Marsh was officially seventeen years old. Although it was a Saturday, which was somewhat convenient; the young man's entire plan involved his bed, phone and a couple of magazines, Sharon, however, wasn't going to let this one slide… again. He had to do something, he wasn't going to waste his entire special day in his bedroom. He was thankful she seemed to care about him again. He wanted it to be relaxing, so he'd rather stay at home to celebrate, and narrow down his invites to Kyle and Kenny. He even contemplated on getting high with Kenny again before taking him back home. He would've considered bringing Cartman, but after pissing off Kyle too many times, Stan would rather not get stuck in another quarrel.

To avoid yet another five-hour commentary from his mother, he picked out his own outfit: a plain white shirt and a skinny black tie… accompanied by a pair of blue jeans. Stan put on his brown coat, waved at Randy and gave a quick peck on Sharon's cheek before heading out, and Kenny was already sitting on his front porch. They were on their way to pick up his next guest.

"Gotcha something," Kenny spoke joyfully, showing the birthday boy an adequately wrapped up present. Stan effortlessly removed the covering, revealing the very first volume of _ Scott Pilgrim_. In mint condition.

"I've been wanting to read this for awhile," he turned to Kenny with a smile. "Thanks." The other boy beamed at him.

Stan then started the car and left his house.

"How's it feel to be seventeen, man?" Kenny asked.

"Same as always, dude. Not so different," Stan said bluntly.

"Did you get something yet?"

"Just some birthday money and a video chat from Shelly. I also got this pretty cool Terrance and Phillip key chain, kinda like…"

"The one Karen gave me for my birthday," Kenny finished with a genuine smile.

"I hardly do anything for my birthday..." Stan admitted. "...after today things will go back like they were yesterday."

"Yeah, but don't you want to make the best of it?" said Kenny, trying to encourage Stan. "Gotta take responsibility and have real expectations and that other shit. You're technically an adult, dude."

"An _ adult? _ I already felt old when I was a _ kid!_"

The car was stopped by a red traffic light.

"You're a bit nervous, huh?"

"...Yeah. Who wouldn't be?"

Kenny didn't seem too bothered by adulthood, though. He was poor, so he was the first out of his friends to get a part-time job. Despite being the middle child, he was the only one who did his damnedest to keep his family from falling apart completely. He didn't see himself going to college, but he swore he and Karen would move to a better place and start over. Out of all of the boys in town, he grew up the quickest.

"It's not all bad, dude," Kenny lied back against the cushions. "I've decided to stop assuming the worst out of life. Like the old saying goes, expect the unexpected."

Stan snorted. "Are you some kind of social worker or something?"

"Anything to cheer you up, right?"

Stan already knew the answer, so he just smiled. This was a start.

They made it to the Broflovski residence. As they made it to the front door, Stan rang the doorbell. They were still standing on the sidewalk a minute later.

"Are you sure he's home, dude?"

"He said that he'll wait for me."

"Shhh. You hear that?"

Stan did hear it. There was music playing upstairs. Probably in Kyle's room.

"The music must be too loud for him to hear…" the blond then spotted a silver ladder that was lying right next to the house.

"Kenny, I don't think-"

"Do you want him to come or not?"

Stan stared at his friend but later compiled.

Kenny proceeded to pick up the large object. Stan was still standing there, checking the time on his phone. "You want me to do it?" the other boy asked.

The birthday boy shrugged, his phone back inside his back pocket. "Go right ahead."

Kenny finished adjusting the latter before placing it on the windowsill. Stan managed to see Kyle's back turned when he looked up. He decided to back away from the house a bit to see what Kyle was doing in his room, as Kenny was already halfway up the latter.

Stan took one last step before having a full clear view of the window, only to regret it the second he witnessed the most outrageous image that ever laid his dark-blue eyes.

When Kyle was seen sideways again, it turned out that Cartman was also there, but he wasn't raising hell or picking a fight… he was kissing Kyle. And Kyle wasn't pulling back or screaming at him to stop, in fact, he looked so content and relaxed like the time he kissed David at the photo booth; in the state of mesmerism. They were trapped in each other's embrace, Kyle's arm wrapped around Cartman's neck while his other hand was on his cheek, and Cartman's hands were both on Kyle's hips, as they make out to some stupid song Stan has never heard in his life.

Oh, great. So he was right after all.

Stan stood still, swallowing his dry throat. No matter how many times he blinked, Kyle and Cartman's lips continue to press onto each other; mocking him, showing him that this was reality.

He then realized Kenny was about to make it towards the window.

"Kenny, wait!"

But it was too late...

"_What the fuck?!_"

Cartman and Kyle stopped abruptly to turn to Kenny, and they both shrieked in shock.

Kenny also screamed in result, causing him to tumble off the ladder and land onto the ground with a loud thud, the ladder collapsing on him hard.

"_Kenny!_" Stan shouted in dismay.

"_Stan?!_" Kyle cried, opening the window. "Why were you guys spying on us?!"

An equally outraged Cartman nearly shoved Kyle out the way as he stuck his entire head outside the colder weather. "Goddamnit, Stan! The fuck is wrong with you?!"

"I didn't know _ you _ were gonna be here!" Stan defended himself, pointing at Cartman. "And you didn't answer the door and the music was loud and this ladder was here so…" Stan's words trailed off and he forgot what he needed to say next. They all glanced at the accident-prone boy who had just fallen. He didn't move a muscle.

"Oh my God," Kyle wisphered. "I think we killed Kenny. We're bastards."

Stan cussed under his breath and looked away, rubbing his temples, processing every random shit that just happened thirty seconds ago. He could hardly concentrate when he overheard Cartman's plan to hide the body and Kyle's strong refusal. A faint groan suddenly escaped the blond male, and the other three stopped their tracks.

"_Oh shit- _ forget everything I said, he's still alive," Cartman muttered. The brunette cleared his throat and spoke casually to his other friend. "'Sup, Kenny? You good down there? Didn't break any bones, did ya?"

Kenny didn't say anything.

Stan gulped, trying to control his agitation. "I-I'll go help him up."

* * *

"This doesn't add up. It just doesn't. I mean, you two should not be in the same room, all alone, cuddling, making out, on Kyle's bed! _ On Kyle's bed! _ With some lame ass song playing in the background! And you just went along with it like you don't hate this exact fat bastard. Aren't you disgusted? Don't you feel gross? I sure as Hell do! And trust me, I've been to Hell!"

Kenny shook his head and continued monologuing. He paced around the room, his movements a bit rigid from his ladder-related injuries. Kyle and Cartman were still lying on the bed, sitting a mere four inches next to each other. Stan was at the door, deciding whether he should come in or just turn back home.

"How long he's gonna be like this?" Cartman asked Stan.

Stan was trying to let everything in front of him sink in. "I...I don't know…"

"Holy shit, no. This has got to be a joke. Y-yeah! You guys are just pulling a prank. Haha, you got us! You got us real good! We've been Punk'd! Where's Ashton Kutcher?"

"Kenny, dude." Stan was fully inside the bedroom, placing an arm on the boy's shoulder.

Kenny's pacing ended, but his paranoia was still transparent. "Please tell me this is a joke," he murmured. As much as Stan wanted it to be, it wasn't.

"Kenny. Calm down, alright? We can explain everything," Kyle said.

The blond took a deep breath and continued to speak. "You guys hate each other."

"We'll we _ did _ hate each other."

"You gave him a black eye not too long ago."

"And now he gives me head," Cartman said slyly.

Kenny covered his face in shame. "Oh, my fucking God."

Kyle punched Cartman within seconds. "_Ahh! Fuck!_" the brunette shouted, wincing at the urtication freshly staining his bicep.

Kenny whined, his hands snaking around his disheveled hair. "See? This what I'm talking about."

"Why did you do that?!" demanded Cartman, rubbing his arm.

"Probably because you won't shut the fuck up?"

"It was a joke. We both know we're not ready to go third base yet."

Kenny turned to the birthday boy. "What's going on? Stan, what the fuck is going on? Apparently I miss out on everything whenever I'm gone."

"I didn't know they're having a fling."

"A fling," Kenny repeated. He nodded his head and looked at Kyle and Cartman again."You guys are just confused. Is that it?"

Kyle let out a sigh, "No." He timidly grabbed the brunette's arm, careful not to brush against the spot where he punched him. "Me and Eri- uh, Cartman, are together." he swallowed a bit. "Romantically," he added.

The other twosome was still and silent. "You can't be serious," Kenny responded.

"I'm perfectly sane," the redhead reassured. "And I completely understand you guys would freak out over this, but it's complicated. And we weren't planning on telling you this soon. We... just know that we have feelings for each other."

"How long has this been going on?" asked Stan.

"About four days now."

"Kyle, since when did you love- oh, Jesus, I can't even say it," Kenny stopped and tried to look for a better word. "Since when did you have the hots for Cartman?"

"I-I don't know. It was much longer than four days ago. Probably since freshman year, maybe even longer than that…"

"This is unbelievable."

Stan decided he saw enough. "Okay, okay. I just wanted to continue on with my birthday… right after we take Kenny to the hospital."

Kyle stood up and looked out the window. "It's almost dark out. We should all get going."

But when they all made it down stairs, Kenny decided he wasn't done yet. "Y-you know what? No. You two can't just have the hots for each other out of nowhere. How did you suddenly decide that you had a crush on him, Kyle? His stank breath? His farts? Shit, what does Fatass here see in you?! This doesn't make any sense!"

Stan shook his head and opened the front door. Kenny was still rambling when they were all outside.

"Y'all are just gonna put up with it, huh? It's bad enough we have to put up with Eric alone! I haven't seen one couple in this town who acts the exact same way as two do. And that doesn't include my own parents. For all we know he could be playing mind tricks on you, then what are you gonna do? I'm telling you guys, you're all making a huge mista-_ aahhh!_"

The sound of Kenny's shout startled Stan and Kyle, and they looked to see him and Cartman on the ground. The latter used his body weight to stay on top of the squirming boy with a roll of large duct tape on one hand. When Kenny got off the pavement it was too late; the brunette managed to cover his mouth before wrapping the tape around his head, even getting some stuck to his hair.

Cartman got up and backed away to marvel at his latest masterpiece: Obnoxious Teenager Gets His Fucking Mouth Shut.

"_Mmph! Mmmph!_" poor Kenny yelled. He got up, but before he could try and break the brunette's teeth, Kyle came and pulled him away.

"Kenny- Kenny! Just calm down, okay?"

"_Mmph mmph mmph?!_" the other male screamed at Kyle.

The unimpressed reactions between Cartman's audience of two didn't require a critique, earning them an eye roll.

"Now don't tell me you wouldn't do the same thing, guys."

Kyle opened his mouth to protest, only to accept he was right. "Thanks."

"_Mmph?!_"

The blonde let out a small groan and gave up. After he stomped to the car he got into the backseat and slammed the door before crossing his arms like a kid.

"This is gonna be a long night," Stan said before taking his route.

Who knew that his birthday would once again mark a new chapter in his life?

* * *

No matter how hard he tried, Kyle could never keep his personal life on the down low.

By the end of the week, most (if not all) of Park County High knew Kyle and Cartman were currently together. To Stan's bigger surprise Cartman didn't gloat about it, instead he would wish the redhead a good day before heading off to his History class, and even waited until lunchtime to timidly grab his boyfriend's hand under the lunch table. Kyle was understandably nervous, because they were so careful before, but the poor brunette was craving his touch. But when everyone was munching on their bland chicken sandwiches, Cartman was suddenly arguing with Tweek because the latter was certain that his superhero persona would destroy The Coon. The bigger boy wanted to get the last word because he didn't like anyone dissing his alter ego. Tweek on the other hand made a rebuttal for each of Cartman's claims, earning a few nods from his friends. Cartman was so easily bothered by the anxiety-ridden blond that when he raised his arm from under the table he forgot to let go of Kyle's hand. The poor redhead's pale cheeks stained red as he facepalmed himself. And Stan had gotten secondhand embarrassment from the both of them. He could feel the hundreds of petrified eyes that were staring behind his table.

"So Tweek," Cartman stammered, "...about the Eros Eruption."

"Oh...my God," Clyde blurted out.

"Well, uh...Congrats? I guess?" Token added. He was clearly uncomfortable with this and he wasn't the only one.

"Did you lose another bet again, dude?" Scott asked.

Kyle put it bluntly. "No."

"Huh. Well I guess you're fucked then."

The school bell echoed throughout the cafeteria, meaning lunchtime was over and the Juniors had five minutes to return to class.

"I'm sorry, Kyle," Cartman confronted him with a frown.

Kyle's emotions changed almost instantly; going from irritation to empathy. "They were going to find out sooner or later, right?"

Relieved, the other boy smiled at Kyle. "See you in class, okay?"

Kyle simply nodded and was given a quick peck on the cheek by his boyfriend before he headed out. Everyone else from the table had already stood up and left the room, but Stan quickly grabbed Kyle's shoulder, prompting the redhead to turn back to his friend.

"Dude, you sure you wanna get through this?"

"We'll both be okay, Stan. Everyone would find out sooner or later. And besides all this hype will die down eventually. They'll stop caring, then."

"But Kyle, you're with Cartman. That's the thing. You know, the same Fatass you've hated most of your life? That's a pretty huge fucking deal. Did you even remember what he did to Heidi?"

"Yes, I remember. And I also remember how to handle him whenever he decides to be a douche. I don't know what is, but it's there. You just don't understand, dude. And that's okay."

Stan sighed as Kyle walked out of his sight. "Probably not."

After grabbing his semi-empty plate from the table, he turned and accidentally bumped into Butters. "Oh, jeez!" the blond yelled, his hand over his heart. "I swear to God, Stan. You always come out of nowhere."

Stan just went on his way, aggravated to talk to anyone else.

* * *

"Alright boys, take ten minutes!"

Stan swore that his football Coach was becoming soft, but he wasn't complaining. Since their Homecoming victory, he figured his team's hard work had paid off, so he rewarded everyone with more breaks, whether the boys needed a drink of water or to take a quick piss. Not that he didn't care for his team in the first place. All of the athletes on the spot scrambled. Stan's plan to smoke was put on hold when he saw David walking towards him.

"Hey, Stan. Can we speak to you for a sec?"

_ 'We?' _ Stan thought. "Uh, sure."

He followed David to the cement tunnel. There was another person awaiting him; it was Heidi in her cheerleading uniform, arms crossed and leaning against the green wall.

"Okay, what's going on?"

"Look, I know we don't really see eye to eye, but I'm starting to get worried about Kyle, and since you're his best friend..."

"We're figuring you could convince him to dump Cartman," Heidi chimed in.

"I don't know. I had already talked to him, earlier."

"Stan, you're the only other person in the school who can snap him out of it. We both know that this thing can't drag on forever. One Cartman is bad enough. I know. I've been one."

"Trust me, guys. I'm just as clueless as you are," Stan said truthfully.

"I guess we could bribe Cartman. And we don't even have to pay him. I can give him a lifetime supply of my burritos. My Papa will most definitely approve of it," David declared, mischievousness spilling from his last sentence. He looked at the other two for an approval.

"I'm afraid that won't work, he's been developing better taste buds for years. I don't even recall him going to your restaurant anymore…"

"I second that," Heidi begrudgingly agreed. "Your food is great but it's no Casa Bonita."

"I didn't set up this meeting so you guys can insult my familia's cooking," he turned to Stan. "You got any better ideas?"

"I can't just force them to break up. Besides, they might cling onto each other even more."

"You have to come up with something," pleaded David.

"I don't think I can help you guys on this one. I'm sorry."

Heidi stepped towards Stan and grabbed his shoulders, like he was casted in a spell and she was desperately trying to snap him out of it.

"Stan, I can tell you've been through so much shit. I know how it feels to be so helpless and vulnerable and decide that everything changes for the wrong reasons. I've been there. But don't tell me that you're not going to do jackshit and let your best friend be tortured by someone who lacks basically every human emotion that's neither destructive nor narcissistic. We can't have this going on again. If no one does anything this toxicity will go one much longer than it should be. I haven't completely recovered from being with him. I could still see him everywhere, no matter how long I've ignored him or how far I go. To this day I'm cautious about my weight and mental health. I question my every move. I get paranoid over the smallest mistake I make. I flinch whenever Wendy or my friends look at me in a different way. I constantly wonder if I can get over it. If I could feel normal again. I thought I could fix him. But I nearly came out broken."

The smaller girl paused and let Stan go. She took a deep breath, wiping away the tears that were threatening to fall on her cheeks. "It's okay, I got you," David whispered, offering her some small tissue he kept in his backpack.

They were all silent, giving Heidi all the time she needed. Stan felt even more helpless with this situation. It was hard to get out of it, and he was stuck in a maze, whichever direction he would take may land him to a wall, where he couldn't cheat and get past without the deep scars that may never heal off his skin. He had already walked past the starting line and he couldn't turn back. Not after hearing Heidi's speech. He had no choice but to keep going.

He couldn't think up a definite answer, so he let his mouth do the talking.

"I appreciate your concern guys," Stan started. "But I'm starting to get this whole thing figured out. For years Kyle was abashed by Cartman. He's smart enough to decide that he'll never be his type. I mean think about it. They're the most solitary boys in town, so they obviously became desperate as time went by. And we're all teenagers, right? So think of it as some sort of experiment they're doing. The way I see it, Kyle is using Cartman for the time being."

That really doesn't make this situation better, but it wasn't like either of them cared about Fatass anyway...

"Trust me, you guys. This is all some fucked up phase that they're going through. Just give them like two, maybe three days tops and everything will be back to normal."

And just like that he stepped away from the quorum.

So it was settled. He just had to see how this goes. He had to play the game and it was back to the starting position.


End file.
